Home to Self. 


Many words flow out of my mind in form of poems, feelings and emotions. Well, some have killed me, some have brought me back to life. I am happy about the woman I am becoming. The force, the strive, the fight, the light. It’s all in form of indescribable beauty.
With time, you will live through life enough to realize that some people will check on you in relation to them. On most times, you will think that people like you, but the truth of the matter is that they really don’t.

Moments will come when it’s only you who understands your chaos, that it’s only you who can handle your insanity, those moments you get to fight against yourself. No one would wish to handle you then, they will want you all prepped. All in the form they can admire and tell it to their inner selves and to others that you are really good.

But how you got there, sad story, darling. You have yourself to calm down, to reconcile with, and to rebuild.

Meet everyone. Have fun. But make sure that the moment you come back home, to yourself, you have more value in you, not a part of you is lost and that your soul is in tact.

Because that home of self, is where you will always go back to.

Image of Me by ALLOYS ITEBA

 ©AGORO2017

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Every feeling I want to write down scares me.

Every single truth the world has never known is battling with the strength of my bones.

I have walked out of myself and tried to look at me in the eyes of someone else who has never loved me

The fear of what will cross their minds realizing what they heard about me, isn’t really Me; tickles my conscience 
Another space maybe? Another time?

Or, this space and this time.

Truth is a painful wound.

But it gets less when the ones who find it out look past it in a different aspect.

When they choose courage, hold your shoulder and allow you to to look at them a new, for the first time.

With a different kind of will. 

The one that listens. 

The one that holds on. 

The one that cries with you. 

And, 

The one that can handle your afternoons at 12am.

Artwork by ANDREY SAMARIN

©AGORO 2017

Her Chronicles

It’s happening to me
My life is taking me to far away things.

I saw myself, free; for once in many years. 

The freedom feeling. Not the word.

Like a river that flows into an ocean but it is allowed to bring more water in.

The distances are silent, but this time, I had chosen them, to be still and listen.

Then I look down at my body – wondered how it still stuck around and held on to my sinful bones even as they walked it into the darkest places of the night .
Oh! I’m not sorry.

Because this body, this woman, this soul, isn’t scared of her scars anymore.

She’s one of the pebbles that stick around banks when all sand is washed away

She’s not every other woman

She’s just Her(s) 

And there’s nothing the universe can do about it.
©AGORO 2017

IMAGE BY ANDREY SAMARIN

Tough Breaths 

I wish I never knew what was hidden inside me. Whether good or bad.

I wish I knew what was hidden inside me throughout all these years. I would have worked on it to a new light and new beginnings.

But fear. Yes, fear.

Of the unknown. Of how I would take it. Of how he or she will take it. Of which direction the universe of my life would start revolving.

How will I my body manage its inner nights and outer days? 

I swear on some days. Pain is good. But it tears me apart inside. It rips me of my joy and brings back all those journey I never want to take, ever.

But, a girl has to choose whether she wants to be free or be caged.

Whether she wants to hold on to all these or walk away.

Me thinks of what it will do to me. Because it always waters me and leaves me dry at the same time.

Then comes the phrases :’I don’t know’ and ‘I have no idea’.

By @agoro_

Image by @broken_isnt_bad

Conversations…

Day One
Love as you want to be loved. Make love in the deepest places of your being so that whenever you look back,  a part of you healed from it. That is the beauty of flowers. They glow and blossom during their time. When it’s time to fade, they fall off but the beauty still dwells on those that come after.
Be Light.
Be a soul worth holding on to and looking up to. Sum up the people your mind can remember at this time of the day and ask yourself, what is there to hold on to? What is there to remember about them?

Day Two.
Happiness manifests  itself in many forms. We could proclaim it every day to heal the soul or to term the belief in self that we are truly happy, but on some days (slow days) , we should also tell ourselves that today isn’t really a good day and, find out a way to make it through. If you do some things in truth and humility, they will manifest themselves without say. We don’t have to seek validation, at times validation kills our inner peace of mind and soul. Calm down darling, the world is running fast, you may feel that you are on a slower pace but as I said earlier in a post last week, we are different. Be grateful. Be faithful. You can be enough if you allow yourself to. ❤

Day Three.
May you find more than punchlines on each word that my pen breaths out. Find love. Find peace. Heal. Laugh and learn too. We are different colors. But whatever color that can be brought out when you and I join minds, I believe it’ll be beauty. I am growing, everyday, as you are. If the places I’ve grown through are going to help you grow, not in the same path as I, but in a different, better and positive way, then, may that will be done.
Choose Happiness.
Have conversations with you sometimes, trust me, it’s interesting.

Day Four.
Bond with the ones you love. Create time for them. Pray for them. Laugh, cry, eat, and play with them. Family knows you better. Whether it’s Mom, Pa’ or Grams or siblings, tell them that you love them. Forgive them for anything you hold against them because the burdens get heavier with every air you breathe;they’re still blood. Hold hands together whenever times are hard and be thankful for each other. Bless You and Yours.

Day Five.
You are answerable to you. Your emotions, your pain and all the shit that sums up your ‘beenthroughs’. People could care, but at the end of the day, you got you. Yes, You. Know how to stand up for yourself, to journey with you, to create time for you and to connect with you. You are you before you are anybody else. Can you tell yourself that, ‘Hey (insert your name), I Love You?’

May you find You.

image

State of Mind. 

Yesterday was a little source seed, by the tune of nature the rivers have unfolded. 

Like soft heels of a girl’s earth, times have reeled to become beautiful hues – a woman’s anthology, a recollection of tiny little sands her mind has lead through the guidance of her soul.

She quiets the seas. 

She moulds her breath into life, the blooms of wonder. 

She’s all roots of destiny coloring the skies the future holds. 

Be Gone. 

The moment you left, there was another part of myself  walking towards me. 

To fill that void. 

I know I was dangerous. 

A tickling bomb. 

But, light and darkness are sometimes the best of friends. 
I don’t know you anymore. 

Our hugs are cold. Our kisses are two walls trying to conjoin. 

We are like kites that are bound and separated by wind. 

And in the force, is our own hurricane 

Rolling and swirling. 

You are a good soul, And a bad one too. 

Both of those taught me a better part of you. 

We will still meet in light

Feeling so indebted to each other
Like, breath for me just once more because I breathed for you? 
No darling. 
Life chose not to wait. 

Because the blacks and whites of your soul are shady

And your spaces have no color. 
I am thankful you gave me more than I needed. 

I am sorry I gave you less than you deserved.

Image of Me by @CHROMEZALLOYS

​There are days we slept soundly

There are days we stayed up to watch the night

On some, we waited to feel the scent of the rain

Still, we nurse us through the cold

We still walk on

We have found the steps of God

He lives in us. 

Our gentle breathes are all that would gives us healing 

Beyond wounds, above the swirling wind
And you Love, 

Is a story, no, Is Love itself. 

See this desert, oases are hidden right under the sand

And we are the only wind that will blow it away

For nature to quench its thirst. 
It’s 2243hrs

14th November 2016

Be fine my Love.

Weighty? 

We ask for too much without actually asking for it. 

The only person who gets to feel it is the one who cares too much. 

This very load, is a whole world going under. 

An empty vessel whose noise will never be heard. 

Like, 

Learning how to let in. 

Learning how to let go.

©ADHIAMBO AGORO.  

Image of Me by Martin Mugo Nduati. 

A THOUSAND HALVES 

I feel and see too many lies. 

I see too many people whose thoughts have been fevered.  

There are no more hands to hold on to 

They were an oasis whose water has dried from the harshness of the sun 

They are afraid of me 

They don’t talk to me as they used to 

We gather like sand but not for days 

I am the rock that is left behind when their sand is shifted away 

I don’t know what to tell them

Their hearts are temporary shores 

But, I may never see them anymore 

No, I will never see them. 
May the many tomorrows come. 
These coming days might be kind to all of us. 

Poem by ADHIAMBO AGORO 

Image of Me by Martin Mugo Nduati